There and back again

There and back again

So my last post was a bit traumatic. I wrote it, I lived it and I never want to revisit it. A few months on and I am much stronger. Life is still challenging as I am doing dialysis four times a day and sometimes its painful, sometimes its gruelling and sometimes its just over with no fuss. Fortunately there is a bit of light in sight. I am going to the overnight machine, which will give me my days back. I cannot wait, as I literally feel tethered to the house at the moment. They are also changing the fluid. Apparently it is less acidic and so will reduce the pain quite significantly, I am genuinely really excited about this new fluid.

After I started the dialysis, my body went into shock and my hb fell through the floor, because of this and because my weight was so low they decided I would not be strong enough to go through a transplant. So, 4 months ago I was suspended from the list. I was absolutely devastated about this. Transplant is my goal, my lifeline. So to be taken off was a blow, (even though I knew they were right.) Three weeks ago I thought they were going to let me back on the list. The meeting was scheduled to discuss my case and my consultant (who had to make sure I was strong enough) told me that he was sure I would be put back on. But I got the call and they told me that because I had been so poorly I still was not strong enough for the operation. So, I needed a bit of extra time and I needed to put on at least 2 kilos. I hadn’t put any weight on in 6 weeks. So for me this seemed like an impossible task. But, three weeks on and I am half a kilo away from my goal. I cannot imagine how I am going to feel when they put me back on the list. Elated springs to mind.

I have continued to work as much as I can. Shoots are still a way off. I get tired so quickly and shoots require such a continued burst of energy, which I just don’t have. I can though work on my digital backdrops on photoshop. I sold one to a photographer I really admire last week and I was chuffed to bits. I am also still doing my stock work. The two combined aren’t bringing me in a wage, but its enough to pay a few little bills and buy Darren a guinness every now and then. Plus, its kept up my skills in photoshop which would have been quickly lost had I not been regularly working in photoshop.

Digital Backdrop, fluffy sheepskin and teddies

Above is one of my backdrops and here is the backdrop with my niece composited into the image…

Digital Backdrop, fluffy sheepskin and teddies


The one below is one of my most popular backdrops at the moment.


Digital backdrop, wicker basket and white fairy lights

I really hope that my next blog is even more positive and you never know that transplant call might be just round that corner. I don’t think there will be any stopping me then. I am going to grab life and celebrate everything. I am as before so grateful to the people in my life that have got me through this time. Their support means everything to me and it will not be forgotten.


2 comments on “There and back again”

  1. hazel Reply

    dear Victoria my name is hazel I live in Westbury I have been on 4 times daily and overnight machine and 29 December 2015 a call came from transplant team they sent a car for me I went in theatre at 11pm and at 3 am I was drinking coffee in 11 days then home and visits to Southmead 3 days a week well I am now almost 3 years later and on 3 monthly visits to Southmead and doing all I want to do get a bit tired but I am 72 I am a different person now so if you get a bit down just think what I have achieved at my age I wish you all the best and good health xx

    • vicky.ashman Reply

      Thank you Hazel, its good to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Continued good health to you. Many thanks, Victoria

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